The Most Important Two Minutes of TV Programming—EVER! (Must View Video)


  • Fox Mulder [Mulder begins to summarize the grand conspiracy theory]  No sooner had we defeated Germany than a new threat started appearing in skies over America, drawn to Earth by the latest threat to extinction: the H-bomb. Explosions acting as transducers, drawing alien life forms through wormholes in spaceships using electrogravitic propulsion. Advanced extraterrestrial species visiting us, concerned for mankind and the threat of our self-destruction, forestalling our annihilation through their own self-sacrifice. The crashes at Roswell. More importantly, places like Aztec. World leaders signed secret memos directing scientific studies of alien technology and biochemistry. Classified studies were done at military installations S4, Groom Lake, Wright-Patterson and Dulce, extracting alien tissue. Tests were done on unsuspecting human subjects, in elaborately staged abductions in craft using alien technology recovered from the downed saucers… including human hybridization through gene editing and forced implantation of alien embryos.

    Sveta Why do such a thing and lie about it… our own government?

    Fox Mulder Your own government lies as a matter of course, as a matter of policy… the Tuskegee experiments on black men in the ’30s; Henrietta Lacks.

    Sveta What are they trying to do?

    Dana Scully That’s the missing piece.

    Tad O’Malley But it’s not hard to imagine… a government hiding, hoarding… alien technology for 70 years, at the expense of human life and the future of the planet. Driven not only by corporate greed, but… a darker objective.

    Fox Mulder The takeover of America.

    Tad O’Malley And then the world itself, by any means necessary, however violent… or cruel… or efficient. By severe drought brought on by weather wars conducted secretly using aerial contaminants and high-altitude electromagnetic waves, in a state of perpetual war to create problem-reaction-solution scenarios to distract, enrage and enslave American citizens at home with tools like the Patriot Act and the National Defense Authorization Act, which abridged the Constitution in the name of national security. The militarization of police forces in cities across the U.S. The building of prison camps by the Federal Emergency Management Agency with no stated purpose. The corporate takeover of food and agriculture, pharmaceuticals and health care, even the military, in clandestine agendas, to fatten, dull, sicken and control a populace already consumed by consumerism.

    [President George W. Bush in montage clip: “And I encourage you all to go shopping more.”] 

    Tad O’Malley A government that taps your phone, collects your data and monitors your whereabouts with impunity. A government preparing to use that data against you when it strikes and the final takeover begins.

    Dana Scully The takeover of America.

    Tad O’Malley By a well-oiled and well-armed multinational group of elites that will cull, kill and subjugate.

    Dana Scully Happening as we sit here.

    Tad O’Malley It’s happening all around us.

    Fox Mulder The other shoe waiting to drop.

    Tad O’Malley It’ll probably start on a Friday. The banks will announce a security action necessitating their computers to go offline all weekend.

    Fox Mulder Digital money will disappear.

    Sveta They can just steal your money?

    Fox Mulder Followed by the detonation of strategic electromagnetic pulse bombs to knock out major grids.

    Tad O’Malley What will seem like an attack on America by terrorists or Russia.

    Fox Mulder Or a simulated alien invasion using alien replica vehicles that exist and are already in use.

    Dana Scully [skeptical]  An alien invasion of the U.S.

    Fox Mulder The Russians tried it in ’47.

    Dana Scully You can’t say these things.

    Tad O’Malley I’m gonna say them tomorrow.

  • Tad O’Malley Do you miss it at all? The X-Files?

    Dana Scully As a scientist, it was probably some of the most intense and challenging work I’ve ever done. I’ve never felt so alive.

    Tad O’Malley You mean working with Mulder?

    Dana Scully Possibly one of the most intense and challenging relationships I may ever have. And, quite honestly, the most impossible.

  • Fox Mulder I think you’re “The O’ Reilly Factor” with a shopworn little gimmick.

    Tad O’Malley [sarcastic]  What Bill O’Reilly knows about the truth could fill an eye dropper.

  • Tad O’Malley I’m not some Johnny-come-lately to the UFO phenomenon, Mr. Mulder. Like yourself, I’m a true believer.

    Fox Mulder No, I only want to believe. Actual proof has been strangely hard to come by.

  • Fox Mulder Air’s getting a little hot in here.

    Tad O’Malley Oh, those don’t roll down. I had the vehicle bulletproofed.

    Fox Mulder [sarcastic]  Because you never know when a gun-toting liberal might go Hinkley.


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