A cop pulls you over for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells you to blow into a breathalyzer.<\/p>\n
“I can’t do that, officer — I’m an asthmatic. I could have an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.”<\/p>\n
“OK, we’ll just get a urine sample down at the station.”<\/p>\n
“Can’t do that either, officer. I’m a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.”<\/p>\n
“Alright, we could get a blood sample.”<\/p>\n
“Can’t do that either, officer. I’m a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die.”<\/p>\n
“Fine then, just walk this white line.”<\/p>\n
“Can’t do that either, officer.”<\/p>\n
“Why not?”<\/p>\n
“Because I’m drunk as a skunk on Saint Patrick’s Day drinking Irish Whiskey like it was New Year’s Eve.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-73509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation2012.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73509","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation2012.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation2012.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation2012.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation2012.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=73509"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation2012.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73509\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation2012.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=73509"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation2012.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=73509"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stateofthenation2012.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=73509"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}