If I Were the Devil<\/p>\n
By radio commentator Paul Harvey
\n(First recorded in 1965)<\/p>\n
If I were the Prince of Darkness I would want to engulf the whole earth in darkness.<\/p>\n
I’d have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree. \u00a0So I should set about however necessary, to take over the United States.<\/p>\n
I would begin with a campaign of whispers.
\nWith the wisdom of a serpent, I would whispers to you as I whispered to Eve, “Do as you please.”
\nTo the young I would whisper “The Bible is a myth.” I would convince them that “man created God,” instead of the other way around. I would confide that “what is bad is good and what is good is square.”<\/p>\n
In the ears of the young married I would whisper that work is debasing, that cocktail parties are good for you. I would caution them not to be “extreme” in religion, in patriotism, in moral conduct.<\/p>\n
And the old I would teach to pray \u2014 to say after me \u2014 “Our father who art in Washington.”<\/p>\n
Then I’d get organized.<\/p>\n
I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull, uninteresting.<\/p>\n
I’d threaten TV with dirtier movies, and vice-versa.<\/p>\n
I’d infiltrate unions and urge more loafing, less work. Idle hands usually work for me.<\/p>\n
I’d peddle narcotics to whom I could. \u00a0I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. \u00a0I’d tranquilize the rest with pills.<\/p>\n
If I were the Devil, I would encourage schools to refine young intellects, but neglect to discipline emotions; let those run wild.<\/p>\n
I’d designate an atheist to front for me before the highest courts and I’d get preachers to say, “She’s right.”<\/p>\n
With flattery and promises of power I would get the courts to vote against God and in favor of pornography.<\/p>\n
Thus I would evict God from the courthouse, then from the schoolhouse, then from the Houses of Congress.<\/p>\n
Then in his own churches I’d substitute psychology for religion and deify science.<\/p>\n
If I were Satan I’d make the symbol of Easter an egg<\/p>\n
And the symbol of Christmas a bottle.<\/p>\n
If I were the Devil I’d take from those who have and give to those who wanted until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. Then my police state would force everybody back to work.<\/p>\n
Then I would separate families, putting children in uniform, women in coal mines and objectors in slave-labor camps.<\/p>\n
If I were Satan, I’d just keep doing what I’m doing and the whole world go to hell as sure as the Devil.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If I Were the Devil By radio commentator Paul Harvey (First recorded in 1965) If I were the Prince of Darkness I would want to engulf the whole earth in darkness. I’d have a third of its real estate and … Continue reading